My Biggest Encourager

One of the biggest blessings in my life is my son and the fact that he plays his guitar ALL the time.....in his room, in the office, in the library, in the den....
Even if he is only practicing, it causes me to stop and think. And here he is right now....
Playing and reminding me of God's desire for my life.

 I wasn't going to tell you this....It was my secret. So after reading this post, you can just forget it!
Ski and I had a long conversation last night. Well, it was mostly me doing the talking. Telling him of my frustration of my weight.
Yes that. I said it.

I never had a weight problem. It was easy to loose weight when my older children were born. In fact, I didn't even try. But with the onset of my friend, Hashimoto's, came this lovely thing called being overweight. I've been discouraged about it for a long time. I've been disheartened to watch Ski run....now close to 15 miles a week. And lose weight. Although, I am his biggest fan, there is a twinge of discouragement in my heart when he tells me his current lowest weight. And my family is full of health issues that would benefit from weight loss. In my teens, I saw my mother starve herself on Wasa and still make little headway. So between that and the fact that I am convinced that the diet approach is unhealthy, I was determined to find something that felt "normal." After a long search, I think I have found the resources that I feel are comfy. So now I have plans. Good plans. And a long road ahead.

But I have a hard time doing things alone. I need a friend. I need someone to prod me along. To help me out. And while I think encouragement is easy for me to give, it is the hardest thing for me to go without. I seem so easily discouraged! In discouragement, I reached out. And well, that didn't work out so well..... And then every time I saw that person I reached out to, anger gnawed at my heart.

And I reached out again and well, the same thing happened. And then there was a conversation I overheard that my Ski had not too long ago. At first I was angry because it had to be hurtful to him and it was so completely unkind. And then I was angry because of what it meant for me.

Now, this past month or so, I've found anger to be a HUGE motivator. While I skip meals....a lot....which doesn't help my turtle metabolism....I do participate in emotional eating. So I've been channeling that anger into exercise rather food. But still, there sits my uneasy heart. Because exercise with anger kind of can make you feel sick. On top of that, when I am hurt, I just say, "Forget it. I don't need ANYONE!!" Well, I'm wrong... So, I decided today that this anger thing needs to be dealt with and not just channeled. So after I sat here thinking about this, down comes my boy strumming and singing. And as he settled here in the den, I felt a tug at my heart. A tug reminding me...

A few years back, I had this relationship that meant a lot to me. And well, very long story short, God showed me that He wanted more of me. He showed me how I idolized that relationship and how He wanted to be in that place instead. And so, while I am not fond of being in a place where God has not given me abundantly close relationships, I have learned to be content where He has me. I have grown to love Him more and depend on Him in a greater way. And He has become my All. And so in that moment of hearing God speak to my heart, He said how this is about me and Him not me and a buddy of friend who can help me. I told you I was wrong. I need GOD!!!!
 He is my encourager.
My rock
My friend.
My biggest fan.
He is more than enough!  

Enough 
by Chris Tomlin 
All of You is more than enough for 
all of me 
For every thirst and every need 
You satisfy me 
with Your love 
And all I have in
 You is more than enough 

You are my supply 
My breath of life 
And still more awesome than I know
 You are my reward worth living for 
And still more awesome than I know 

All of You is more than enough for all of me 
For every thirst and every need 
You satisfy me with Your love 
And all I have in You is more than enough

 Youre my sacrifice
 Of greatest price 
And still more awesome than I know 
Youre the coming King 
You are everything 
And still more awesome than I know

 More than all I want 
More than all I need 
You are more than enough for me 
More than all I know 
More than all I can say 
You are more than enough for me